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Become unproductive, really?
It’s decided: from now on, you will no longer be this model employee devoting yourself with love and abandon to your work. For this, you have chosen to indulge in the office by indulging in everything you refused to do until now. But things are not as simple as they seem and you will have to succeed in applying a certain number of ideas to the letter…
Staying at the mercy of his mailbox all day
Usually, it is customary to deal with personal emails by arranging for this one or more very specific time slots – during breaks in particular –. But isn’t it nicer to keep your favorite email client open all day? to make sure you don’t miss anything any new emails and other notifications?
Besides, that’s good, while you were trying to concentrate on a project of the utmost importance, your aunt sends you a snapshot of the little niece whose name you can no longer find. It is well known, personal emails at the office never attract boredom. And just as you were about to respond to a professional email from your boss, he sends you another one asking you for details about an obscure paragraph contained in one of your previous messages.
If you were looking for a complete productivity wipeout, start by keeping your inbox open. Success is assured.
Do not list anything and let yourself be left to chance
Putting down on paper (or via your favorite note-taking software) every morning in a few minutes the various missions that you must at all costs carry out during the day would be far too easy. You, what you prefer is adventure. Result: you find it more intoxicating to approach each of your days as if it were a question of letting yourself be carried away by the crowd at a rock concert. From then on, you move forward without knowing exactly where all this will lead you. But no matter: this way you can free yourself up a little more time to submit to the incessant flow of your mailbox.
A teenager slams (a crowdsurfer) at a rock concert – © Quibic/Flickr/Wikipedia
Indulge in laziness in the face of – too many – things to do
Have you finally decided to list the important things you will have to do during the day? Big mistake: you will now have to measure yourself against the 15 tasks marked for today, which should only take you 22 hours and a quarter. Result, you are completely discouraged. Your colleague argues that being productive is a state of mind. But for you, it is not so. Maybe next time, if only you have one hell of a catch, you will manage to achieve your goals. In the meantime, why not give yourself some time to breathe by following the Pinterest feed? But beware, because daydreaming can also improve your productivity…
Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski – © Polygram Filmed Entertainment
Eating in front of your workstation without taking a break
Tired of indulging in unproductiveness, you chose to sacrifice your sanity by becoming efficient. So much so that you hardly devote any more time to eating and recharging your batteries as it should. You have nothing to do with this study showing that it is better to work 6 hours with breaks than 8 hours in a row and stressing that breaks allow you to do more and better. For you, it is better to work without cutting even if it means losing your mind…
Coming to work every day
Did you know that going to work every day reduces your productivity? According to several studies, telework would indeed save more than 2 months of work per year and would also offer a better comfort of life. So why not go to work five days a week and maybe even lose a few bonus hours commuting?
Activate as many notifications as possible on your mobile devices
According to the scientists, it would take an average of twenty minutes for a worker to fully return to work after, for example, consulting a notification. Better: the fact of being completely disconnected from any notification would allow the employee to work in a healthy environment. Morality: if you were planning to destroy your productivity, You might as well install as many applications as possible offering notifications so as to continually distract you. It should be noted in this respect that the classic Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare cocktail mixed with a good dose of information applications is a good solution.
Impose deadlines all the time and for anything
As you have probably noticed, priority is a very variable concept that can change from one second to another. For example, when you have in mind all the tasks to be carried out, it is often difficult for you to prioritize them. And quite often, the new tasks invariably seem to be the highest priority. Result : the deadlines initially set for the others are quickly largely exceeded. A good strategy in short to undermine your productivity.
So refuse any solution to remedy this, and avoid, for example, developing a priority system based on 12 levels, 1 being urgency, 2 acceptable urgency and 12 a memo for you. remember to download Angry Birds, free for a few days…
Alone against all
In the same way, the ultimate trick of the unproductive employee is to work alone and never in a team. Because after all, you are never better served than by yourself, for example by closing ad vitam aeternam the door to the open-space…
Finally, you can also question the boundary between your professional life and your private life by deciding, for example, to work at home in the evening and have fun during the day at the office. However, beware of received ideas, not tidying up your desk could improve your efficiency at work – so avoid it.
And if you really manage to stay productive by following all of these tips to the letter, tell yourself that there are only three days left before the weekend arrives…